long-distance relationship

best friends makin' it work

a chindian friendship

Our dear friend Megan Reddish started up a funny little blog that we’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading. This post was inspired by the hilarious lists on her tumblr. Check it out.
Megan’s blog

(yes, we made this beautiful flag with the use of photoshop)

Yang’s Lists
Pros of having an Indian best friend
Indians are good dancers. Having grown up with Bollywood music and catchy Indian tunes with great dance beats, your best friend will likely move better than most people on the dance floor. MY best friend moves best.
All Indians are good cooks. Going over to their house for dinner means delicious food each and every time. Thank you, Usha Auntie.
Your best friend will share the Kama Sutra with you. All of it. Even the parts that were censored.
Your best friend will do a really great job of putting on a funny Indian man accent.
Given their affinity toward call centers, an Indian best friend will likely have great phone manners and offer you exclusive deals each time you call.
China is way cooler than India. For this reason, you get to feel superior to your best friend at all times.

Cons of having an Indian best friend
They’re usually vegetarian. You don’t get to share in the pleasure of eating succulent meat. I can’t count the number of times I have feasted on buffalo wings and hated that I couldn’t share my most favorite food with Rohini.
If traveling together, factor in an additional hour needed for boarding. Your friend will likely be strip searched by TSA.
While Indian cuisine is tasty, your friend will sometimes smell of curry. Don’t get me wrong, curry is delicious, you just don’t want your wingman to smell like it when you’re going out for a night on the town. Smelling like curry/b.o. would be considered a game-killer for the typical person, yet somehow my best friend still manages to get her game on.
Indians are way too into Mahatma Gandhi. Like get over it already. AmIright or amIright? If they have a really bad case of Gandhiphilia, your best friend might even go dressed as Gandhi for Halloween. Mine did.
Indians traditionally eat with their hands. This makes any attempt to teach your best friend how to use chopsticks futile.

Rohini’s Lists
Pros of Having a Chinese Best Friend
Mah Jong.  This ancient Chinese game isn’t just pretty tiles.  It’s actually quite entertaining and if your best friend is Chinese she might buy the travel version so that you can play a quick game in Brooklyn on the Fourth of July.  No better way to celebrate America.
Chinese families enjoy going out for dim sum lunches.  With a Chinese best friend you can tag along for these lunches and devour delicious vegetable chow fun, which let’s be honest, is chow fun times.
If you thought New Year’s was fun, try celebrating Chinese New Year’s.  Having my best friend got me VIP access to all the dancing, food and festivities at our local Chinese New Year’s celebration.
Telling a far-fetched story about a family with triplets and acrobats sounds far more plausible when your best friend is Chinese.
With Beijing hosting the 2008 Summer Olympic Games, having my best friend meant getting the hook up for official Olympics gear.
Ever tried to buy a Louis Vuitton purse in Chinatown?  If you weren’t with your Chinese best friend you were probably ripped off.  My best friend always managed to haggle down vendors to their lowest prices using her complete grasp of the Chinese language.  It is thanks to her that I have in my possession several knock off Chanels and Pradas.

Cons of having a Chinese Best Friend
Loss of “My people number over a billion” bragging rights.  You may have thought your people were special because of their reproductive capabilities, but as my best friend will remind you, you are not the only ones.
The Great Wall.  Yes, it’s big.  Yes, it’s old.  And yes, you can see it from outer space.  A Chinese best friend will remind you of the greatness of this wall and the superiority of her people.  But how great is the Great Wall?  Let’s just remember that there are other more beautiful wonders of the world (including but not limited to the Taj Mahal).
The Chinese are usually huge fans of acupuncture and other natural forms of healing.  While I can see the benefits of trusting in herbal medicine, sometimes I just want my best friend to pop two Nyquil and sleep in peace.
While drinking your best friend may experience what many call the Asian Glow reaction to alcohol.  Red looks good on the Chinese flag, but it’s not so attractive on the face.  Luckily, my best friend doesn’t need to be red to paint the town red.  We party it up sans glow.
Young Chinese girls tend to have a peculiar affinity for all things Hello Kitty.  You will inevitably receive several gifts of journals, pencils and stationary from the retail store Sanrio.  Will you have any use for them?  No.  But you will keep them at the bottom of your drawer because for whatever reason your best friend likes this crap.


No comments yet»

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: