long-distance relationship

best friends makin' it work

Archive for February, 2010

pretty picture


Sometimes Rohini looks nice when she’s eating. On special/rare occasions Rohini can even look sexy when eating. I think the above picture does a pretty good job of making my point. I have nothing more to say. I just felt it was necessary to put up this picture to balance out the last one.

oatmeal : the anti-bloat meal

Last weekend with Yang, Megan and Rachel = cheesy enchiladas, frozen margaritas, flan, Golden Oreos, Cheetos, cupcakes, frozen yogurt, hummus, pita, baba ghanouj, couscous, baklava, JUMBO pizza, Morningstar buffalo wings, an entire bag or Garden Salsa Sun Chips, mint Milanos, spring rolls, pad thai, panang curry, veggie omelette with home fries, caprese sandwich, tomato basil soup, Chipotle, Junior Mints, Raisinets,  and Sour Patch Watermelons.

I know what you’re thinking.  Rohini, why the hell did you divulge your entire food itinerary for us (especially when there is that picture to tell us that yes you ate a lot and no it wasn’t pretty)?  Well, to be honest, if I didn’t paint such a dramatic picture what I say next just wouldn’t make sense.  Yang and I, after a rather ugly session with the mirror, have decided to pursue an oatmeal diet.  Not strictly oatmeal, but an oatmeal base interspersed with a few real meals.  I know it sounds plain and boring, but if Goldilocks could stomach three different bowls of porridge, we figure we can manage one or two.

Anyways, while deciding upon this diet, here are a few fun facts I picked up about our new fave food (my comments are in teal).

Oats were one of the earliest cereals cultivated by man. They were known in ancient China as long ago as 7,000 B.C. The ancient Greeks were the first people known to have made a recognizable porridge (cereal) from oats.  The Chinese had the healthy diet right and then we put McDonalds on their land and fucked things up.  It’s time Yang and I retrace our steps back to the food of her ancient ancestors.

Oatmeal Month is celebrated each January, the month in which we buy more oatmeal than any other month of the year. In January 2001, we stocked our pantries with 34.6 million pounds of Quaker Oats; enough to make 346 million bowls of oatmeal.  The month after shovechristmascookies downyourthroat season would be Oatmeal Month.  It’s too bad Yang and I missed this past January’s festivities.  Had we acted faster, oatmeal could have had a place in our New Year’s resolutions and the above picture might have been avoided.

The most popular oatmeal topping is milk. Other popular toppings are: sugar, fruit (raisins, bananas) and butter/margarine. Among the most unusual are: eggnog, peanut butter, cottage cheese and brewer’s yeast.  Yay to raisins, sugar, and ok I could get on board with the butter and peanut butter.  Nay to bananas (Yang would disagree), cottage cheese (ew stay away from my oatmeal and my fridge) and brewer’s yeast (wtf?  brewer, save your yeast for beer).

Vermont leads the U.S. in per capita consumption of cooked oatmeal cereal.  It’s also one of six states in which same-sex marriage is allowed. Perhaps Yang and I can someday relocate to this state where our diet and our love will be accepted.

Over 40 studies show that eating oatmeal may help lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease. According to Quaker, all it takes is 3/4 cup of oatmeal each day to help lower cholesterol. The soluble fiber in oats helps remove LDL or “bad” cholesterol, while maintaining the good cholesterol that your body needs. The Indian population has one of the highest rates of heart disease in the world (it’s Gods’ way of evening things out after giving us beautiful bronze skin).  If I hope to avoid following in the footsteps of my people I think it’s best I keep up my friendship with Mr. Quaker Oats.

Oatmeal is near the bottom of most people’s lists of sexy foods but eating concentrated amounts of oats has been shown to increase testosterone levels and raise sex drive in men.  Aphrodisiac and it lowers cholesterol?!  Let’s spice up our next romantic dates with a bit of Quaker Instant.  Brown sugar is sexy.  Stir it in your oatmeal…sexier.

The “Quaker man” is not an actual person. His image is that of a man dressed in the Quaker garb, chosen because the Quaker faith projected the values of honesty, integrity, purity and strength.  Such a fucking shame.

I hope you learned a thing or two about what Yang and I will be eating for the next few months.  FYI if you want to share an oaty meal with us, maple & brown sugar and apples & cinnamon are our flavors of choice.  De-lish.

need dating?

I was supposed to go speed dating tonight, but it didn’t happen. I was supposed to go speed dating over the summer, but that never happened either. I’m starting to think that the powers at be don’t want me to go dating, speedily or otherwise.

I enjoy the single solitary life (Rohini would tell you otherwise), and I’m not one to complain about being boyfriendless (Rohini would disagree yet again), but Rohini, Megan and Rachel are no longer here after a fun weekend and I’m listening to a loop of my favorite boy band classics, so forgive me for feeling a little bit lonely at the moment. It happens to the best of us.

Could I have met the future Mr. (last name)-Yang (my husband will hyphenate his name, mine will remain the same)? Maybe? Probably? Ok, so in all likelihood I dodged a big bullet and made better use of my time this evening than to spend it on fifteen four-minute “dates” with middle aged weirdos, but the potential for a much funnier blog post than this one was definitely there. Despite this small setback I still trust that Cupid, who’s running a little behind the feb. 14th schedule, has bigger plans for me this year.

Until Mr. Right. Scratch that. Until Mr. Right Now comes along I will keep listening to my beloved boy bands and think about all of the reasons why I’m still saving myself for Brian Littrell, Justin Timberlake, Nick Jonas or Nick Carter, or even Howie.

Benefits to not having a boyfriend/love life
– When on a diet, dating is the last thing on the doctor’s orders. Dating involves fancy, multiple-course dinners, and weight gain. My frame cannot support any extra poundage.
– Having a boyfriend is a big time commitment. I like going out on weekends, but after a long day at work all I want to do is go to the gym, shower, eat, write for the blog and sleep.
– When your friends ask you to hang out, there’s no need to consult anyone. You’re your own boss.
– You can smile, flirt and dance with anyone you want without feeling an ounce of guilt. If you’re like Rohini, you also appreciate the freedom to kiss anyone at any time (regardless of whether you know them, or remember it later).
– Freedom to choose your +1 date for a wedding or any other major social function.
– If your parents are like mine, being single means getting nagged a whole lot less about boys that they dont approve of. Nagging is still commonplace, the degree of nagging is much more tolerable. When/If i’m 30 and still unwed, the nagging will be about the exact opposite. oh, the irony.
– Ability to take Christian Bale on the spot if the occasion arose (hell, i would do this even if i wasn’t single).
– You get to spend more time with your friends ☺. My friendship with Rohini grew even stronger once I was no longer in a serious relationship, and for that I am very grateful.
– Never have to worry about the toilet seat being down.
– Personal grooming is lower on the list of personal priorities.

Please don’t take this post the wrong way. In no way am I jaded by guys, nor do I hate them. On the contrary, I think i’ve actually been very lucky with my romantic relationships and am still very much a boy-crazed young woman, but I’m also at a really happy, content place without a significant other, old ball and chain. So let’s all be happy for me. Does this mean I would object if I met a really cute/smart/funny guy this weekend? Of course not, but I won’t be disappointed if I don’t either.

Time for some Single Ladies by Beyonce. Love it.

train of consciousness

I have spent the past two days partying it up in Washington D.C., the beautiful capital of this beautiful nation.  Here’s how I got here.

Over the past four years, every time I visited Yang, I typically took the Peter Pan Express bus to New York.  This time, however, I opted for the overnight Amtrak train from Providence to Union Station.  Now, I know the train seems like a somewhat outmoded form of transportation compared to all the high-flying speedy jets we see today (my friend Megan incidentally arrived by plane).  But it still held a bit of classical charm for me with a North by Northwest kind of sex appeal.  I fancied the thought of running into a Cary Grant type and necking in a hidden corner behind the bathroom.  I boarded the train full of romantic ideas about how the next eight hours would pass.  When I got off the word “sexy” had completely disappeared from my train vocabulary.

On the overnight train, most people board, put their bags away, recline their seats and pass out.  I, however, stayed awake to complete a homework assignment I had put off until the last minute.  So, by the time I decided to put my books away and call it a night most everyone else was in a deep sleep.  As I was dozing off I noticed a woman slip into the seat behind me, explaining to the train conductor that her daughter had kicked her out of her seat.  At the time, this didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but I was too tired to bother with further mental inquiry.  I propped my jacket under my head and shut my eyes.

Not even five minutes had passed before I woke to a hideously unattractive sound.  The noise, which resembled what I imagined a rat being swallowed by the train’s engine might sound like, was so loud it startled me into an upright stance.  I checked around to see if anyone else had woken to this sound.  Nope, just  me.  Then, I looked back.  To my complete horror, this noise was no engine malfunction, but a monstrous snore.  The woman who took her seat behind me was no train passenger, but the eighth and ugliest of Snow White’s dwarfs, Snorey.

I sat in my train seat, unable to fall asleep again, appalled by what I was heaing.  How could I be the only unfortunate soul suffering from this auditory torture?  It was no wonder Snorey’s daughter had asked her to move.  If my mother sounded like a congested elephant I too would abandon her on a public train.

People who snore should not be allowed to ride trains.  Correction.  People who snore should not be allowed to ride the overnight train.  I simply cannot understand why someone with an embarrassing condition such as loud snoring would put themselves in a social situation where they couldn’t help but display their blocked nasal passages.  I have terrible allergies and loud sneezes.  You don’t see me cart wheeling through the public botanical gardens.  It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

After five minutes of attempting to fall asleep, I gave up.  I couldn’t sit in front of Snorey.  Putting my boots on, I stood up and searched for other open seats on the train.  Looking left and right all I could see were pairs of seats taken up by outstretched bodies; there was nowhere for me to escape to.   Lucky daughter was smart enough to kick out her mother when there were still places to sit.  Now I would have to endure a sleepless, noisy night.

Just when I thought I might violently recline my seat to scare Snorey out of her sleep, the snoring subsided.  Amazed, I turned around to see an open book being flipped through.  I don’t know who the author of that book is, but bless his soul.  My guardian angel.  He prevented me from committing murder that night because another two minutes and I would have strangled that bitch.

I returned to my sleep thinking after Snorey, nothing could have made the train ride worse.  I stood corrected.  At the Stamford, CT train station an older gentleman wearing a suit boarded the train and sat across the aisle from me.  I smiled at him as he sat down thinking a friendly face is always a great way to start a train ride.  Had I known what he would later do, I would not have been so kind.

Once again, I began to doze off curling my body into a ball around my jacket.  Only five minutes into my sleep I heard a clip noise from across the aisle.  I thought I recognized this sound, but then I told myself, No there’s no way that’s what I heard. Then, clip clip clip. I woke up and looked over to see that yes, indeed, the gentleman in the suit was clipping his fingernails at 3 am on an overnight train.  What THE fuck?  Did I mistakenly step onto a train of passengers who should be social outcasts?  The one question I did not allow my mind to wander to was where exactly this man disposed of his nail clippings.  That was too much for me.

Because of Nail Clipper and Snorey I arrived in DC with sleepy eyes.  My overnight train was not quite conducive to sleeping.  But I am now having great fun with the Yangster and company, so the nail clipping and awful snoring were totally worth it.  I know now not to expect so much from my return train ride.  Though, my patience only runs so far.  I swear if someone clips his nails again, there will be a second murder on the Orient Express.

mark as spam

Dear kiranc@thoughtwavesoft.com,

Though I haven’t the faintest clue as to who the fuck you are, I appreciate the numerous emails you have sent me over the past two years.  During a rather tumultuous time in my life, namely college, you have held a steady spot in my Inbox with your frequent updates on job postings in the IT industry.  When you addressed all your emails with “Dear partner,” I felt both supported and loved.  And when you finished every message with “Looking forward to hear from you…..” written in italics with a 5-dot ellipses, I thought to myself “Finally, someone wants to listen to what I have to say.”

My only regret in looking back upon our e-correspondence is, well, a lack of “respondence” on my part.  You must forgive me.  Contrary to what my last name may indicate, I am not involved in nor have any interest in information, technology or any combination of the two.  When I read the letters “i” and “t,” they spell “it” and nothing more.  To be frank I am unclear as to why exactly your emails began arriving in my inbox during my sophomore year.  Other than the fact that you hail from Aurora, IL and I reside in the area formerly known as Aurora, CO, I see no connection.  I used to babysit a boy named Kiran.  I don’t think you’re him.

Whoever you are, I think it’s about time I warn you that I am tremendously unqualified for the work you send me.  While I would love to be an Applications Designer in New York for $75/hour, the only Java I know is the Java Chip Frappuccino I order at Starbucks.  Not sure how much help that will be.   Also, regarding the line in red italics, “Finance industry experience is MUST”: don’t quite know what is meant by finance industry (good to hear it’s must).  I occasionally fill out credit card applications for my best friend Yang.  Does that count?

When I get to the bottom of your emails I always take note of the Important Disclaimer Notice informing me that I can remove myself from future kiranc endeavors with a simple email to lakshmi.thumu@thoughtwavesoft.com.  And every time I choose to keep up our “partnership” because I like the look of you in my Inbox (and b/c my cousin’s name is Lakshmi…it felt like a family insult).  But now I am in my last semester, about to finish up college, and I think it’s time for me to move on.  You’ve been marked as spam.  I hope you’re not offended.  This doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

Sincerely,

Rohini

While preparing this letter, Yang and I considered how convenient it would be if other things could be marked as spam and erased from your life inbox (i.e. awkward family conversations, persistent guys you never want to see again, credit card notices, etc).  If only.

post-grad

I am so happy these days are behind me.

A Gchat conversation from 12/13/09 @ approx 7pm

Yang: you have to force me to finish this paper tonight
you hear me?
i have to
before i go to bed
Rohini: yes
yes i will
Yang: you have to force me to email you a copy
Rohini: it’s due tomorrow?
Yang: and it has to be 15 pages
plus bibliography
no it’s due tuesday
but i need to spend all of tomorrow studying for my other test
Rohini: right right
ok
Yang: which i havent done
Rohini: you’re finishing it tonight
how much do you have done
Yang: um like 7 pages maybe
i dont know
if i were to doublepace
let me see
Rohini: yeah
that’s not bad
Yang: i might have 8
maybe 9 pages
Rohini: you’re halfway there
dude
you’re totally finishing tonight

Yang: i must
i must
what’s your goal for tonight?
we have to keep each other accountable
Rohini: i’m going to finish reading everything
and start writing
once i start writing
i think i’ll be alright

Yang: so your goal is to read everything today?
no writing?
Rohini: no i’m starting to write tonight
by like 1 or 2
and we’ll see how much i can get out
Yang: how many pages
io’m making you email me
Rohini: i don’t know
hahaha
like 5
?
i don’t know how doable that is

Yang: 5
you’re doing 5
Rohini: ok
deal

Yang: actually no
4
i’ll give you 4
you are emaklin me
and you’ll have 4 double spaced pages
before bedtime
Rohini: hahaha
ok

Yang: we have to do this
Rohini: bedtime
Yang: you have to keep me accountable
Rohini: that’s a good question
it might be like 5 in the morning

Yang: um
definiltey
no doubt
at least 6

I didnt finish that paper that night and Rohini didnt get to 1 page, let alone 5.  But did I still graduate from an accredited university?  Yes.  Lessons to be learned: (1)Do the least you can do to get by and do it all while gchatting with your best friend, (2) Staying up until 5 in the morning is good fun, but always remember there are bigger more important things to do (refer to our aspirations and asspirations pages).

i went to bed before midnight last night. it was pretty amazing.

please find it in your heart

to forgive us.

we’re sorry we’ve been neglecting the blog. you have our deepest apologies. the excitement of our soon to be reunion is bringing us both happiness and serious writer’s block. we’ve also been quite busy in our day to days (still no excuse), but here’s a look at what our last few days have been filled with.

feb. 14th, 2010
Chinese New Year
Valentine’s Day
Rohini bakes red velvet cupcakes (red for Chinese New Year)
Yang has Dim Sum in Silver Spring, MD
Rohini takes five hours to write a one page paper
Yang sees Crazy Heart and highly recommends it
5 days until Rohini visits!

feb. 15th, 2010
Yang has the day off from work
Rohini has class
Yang goes to spin class for the first time and barely survives
Rohini has more class
Yang assembles furniture
Rohini attempts to study for her Arabic quiz while watching “The Game” reruns on BET
4 days until Rohini visits!

feb. 16th, 2010
Yang’s crotch, legs, and every other part of her body hurts from spin class
Mardi Gras
Yang’s Chinese birthday
Rohini fails her Arabic quiz
Yang goes to work and had a busy day
Rohini walks to the mall in snowy slushy weather
Yang chooses to work out again against her better judgment
Rohini chooses to eat three slices of pizza against her better judgment
3 days until Rohini visits!

as you can see, it’s not really our fault. we blame february for being a greedy month, stealing all the holidays and cramming them into three days. what a bitch.

o.m.g. friday can’t come soon enough!

p.s. hope your fat tuesday was flab and fab.