long-distance relationship

best friends makin' it work

Archive for April, 2010

the pot calling the kettle black

a moment or two ago, i decided to go through old rohiniandyang gchat transcripts to find funny nuggets (good luck tonight to the denver sports team of the same name) worth sharing, but before i ever made it to our exhaustive chat log, i got sidetracked and read through a conversation i had with a former boyfriend. reading over it was nostalgic, heartwarming and a little sad. given the overwhelming expression of love and devotion, an objective, cynic outsider would not be incorrect in labeling it “nauseating.”  *sigh… oh how good it was to be in love… anyway, as i quickly came back to the reality that is the loveofmylifeless present day, i chose to share an excerpt with rohini. the text in question will remain for our eyes only, but please take a look at the following conversation between your two favorite best friend bloggers.

A Gchat conversation from 4/28/10 @ approx 5:20pm

Rohini: i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
me: hahaha
Rohini: from overuse of the words
love you
and beautiful
but
to be fair

me: loves makes you say styupid things
Rohini: if you read through our conversations
me: hahahahaha
Rohini: they might look
me: true
Rohini: similar
me: or worse
hahahah
true true true
Rohini: so much worse

she has a point. the “so much worse” conversations that rohini speaks of have been purposely excluded from this blog, severely limiting what we can post from our instant messaging, because if we ever did, we would likely lose all readership. these are just some of the many editorial choices we have to make, because let’s face it, when you and your best friend have a blog that is dedicated entirely to your long distance best friendship, there’s no need to re-emphasize your love for one another.

let me take this moment to thank all of our readers :) thank you for keeping your gag reflex in check.

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i don’t believe in the tooth fairy


04.25.10 expert photography taken from Yang’s seat in the dentist assistant’s chair

Shit show. It is rather unfortunate that both these words contain the letter “s” and if you were ever in a toothless condition (as I was Saturday evening) it would be impossible to describe a crazy weekend (as this past weekend was) without sounding a little lispy.  Still, lisp and all, when asked how my Spring Weekend was, how could I respond with anything but the words SHIT SHOW?

Before I launch into all the gory details, I’m going to give you a brief history of “Dental Work Done on Rohini.”  If you’ve read my ouchie post you know of my hate/fear relationship with the dentist’s office.  This might help explain why.

In the 4th grade, I got my first cavity.  Folks, it was all downhill from there.  The moment that drill first pierced the enamel of my left back molar, it found in my mouth a second home.  It goes without saying that I’ve had several cavities since that first fateful day (once having 12 cavities at the same time).  But tooth decay is simply the tip of this tooth-shaped iceberg that I call my dental woes.

When in the 7th grade my brother grabbed my feet from under a ping-pong table whispering “Hello Clarise” in his best Hannibal impression, I couldn’t have known that I was seconds away from the most defining oral experience of my life.  As I bent down to respond to what was clearly an invitation to fight (physical fight, Kannan and I don’t kid), my open mouth hit the edge of the table and into my hands fell two shards I would later recognize as the bottom halves of my front teeth.  You can imagine my horror as I looked into my palm and realized that my perfectly straight “don’t need braces” teeth were now forever flawed.

Dr. Walter, the dentist who instilled in me a perpetual fear of cavities (see ouchie), cancelled all his morning appointments the next day and brought me in for an emergency procedure.  X-rays were taken, a gas mask was placed on my face and the rest is a little hazy.  A few hours later I emerged from the dentist’s office with false bottoms on my front two teeth.  These faux halves would serve as a temporary replacement until my teeth grew in enough to get crowns.

Over the course of the next five years my front two teeth brought me a mouthful of trouble.  Several times one or both of these fake bottoms broke off and I’d run back to the dentist’s office with my hockey player smile for another glue job.  Here are the sites of some of my more memorable breakage incidents: in Tae Kwon Do class, at IB bowling night, eating a Laffy Taffy in Philosophy class (I have a soft spot for Jerry Cherry).  I once judged an entire debate tournament without half of my right front tooth.  Even worse were the breakages that never actually happened.  Numerous times I woke up in a cold sweat licking the backs of my teeth after tossing and turning my way through another chipped tooth nightmare.  There are few things more frightening than a recurring dental dream.

In the 12th grade my constant dental troubles seemingly came to an end.  My broken teeth were shaved down to two tiny stubs and covered by porcelain crowns.  For the first time in years I could smile without worrying that someone would notice the cracks where my teeth broke.  I had finally found a lasting and cosmetically appealing fix for my damaged incisors.  Or so I thought.

This past Saturday on a natural (gin and juice induced) high I made my way from Snoop Dogg’s green room to my house, excited about the night Yang and I were about to party away.  Full of anticipation, I ran towards my house, sprinting over the sidewalk where I stumbled and hit my bottom jaw against the top of my mouth as I came crashing to the ground.  I had a flashback to 7th grade ping-pong tables only this time the crown on my left tooth shattered all over the pavement.  Horror.  Complete and total horror.

Enter Yang, the heroine of this story.  After dragging a devastated Rohini up two flights of stairs, Yang pulled out her laptop and set to work.  Now I’ve always known in my heart that she’ll make an amazing journalist, but this night I saw her reporter instinct in action.  Yang called every dentist in the directory, repeating my story every time (a tale she knew by heart since she’s seen me through all my tooth horror stories).  All the while I sat in a corner bawling into the arms of my roommate, Kat, and refusing to ice my bruised upper lip.  As I sobbed myself into a hysterically exhausted sleep, Yang left messages for what seemed like half of Rhode Island’s dental community.

Around midnight, she found a glimmer of hope.  Dr. Sarinsky, a man who himself was just admitted into the hospital, had the kind heart to respond to Yang’s message and refer us to one Dr. Barr.  Dr. Barr, bless his soul, came into his office on a Sunday morning to perform an emergency dental procedure with none other than Yang Yang as his dental assistant.  She wore those blue rubber gloves like dentistry was her second profession and as she looked down on me with the angelic glow of a dental light shining behind her, I couldn’t help but love my best friend a little more.

I am now with a temporary tooth fixture that is a slightly different shade than the rest of my teeth and small squeeze tube of fixodent (j.i.c.).  All things considered I’m a pretty lucky gal and at least my Spring Weekend didn’t end on a completely bad note.  Besides, how can it not be at least a little bit of a shit show weekend when Yang and I (and Snoop) all get together?  Though let’s all cross our fingers that at the D.C. Chili Cook-Off (the next time Yang and I will be together) nothing will break.

Just an FYI… over Spring Break I had my wisdom teeth and an odontoma (tooth tumor…imagine 3 small teeth growing in my gums) removed from my mouth.  And now this.  Where is the tooth fairy and why am I not making bank for all the teeth (whole or fractured) coming out of my mouth?

a super-size spring weekend

I never know what to expect when Rohini and I get together. All I can ever do is hope that I have enough cash, packed enough underwear and that my camera battery will last. With just a few hours to go in Providence, I can say yes on all 3 counts.

Here’s a quick recap.

– North by Northeast My trip started when I went aboard the 3:15 a.m. northeast regional train to Providence. I accidentally fell asleep in my bed earlier that night and miraculously woke up at 2:30 just in time to leave for Union Station. Close call. I had much less luck sleeping on the moving locomotive.

– Forever 21 – As we walked into our go-to broke girl retail establishment, Rohini and I realized that after this past Tuesday, neither of us is forever 21. I walked out with a tank top, Rohini emerged a winner with a brand new jacket, and we were each proud owners of new shades.

– Death at a Funeral – We were both really pumped for this movie. I had seen the British original, and had high hopes for the Black interpretation. Rohini and I love Black movies (Something New, Boyz in the Hood, Brown Sugar, Remember the Titans, and Driving Ms. Daisy); we can’t say the same for this one

– The Cheesecake Factory – For the first time ever, Rohini and I showed some restraint when ordering dinner. We made up for this by ordering ornate beverages that came in glasses that were too tall for our straws. I love irony.

– Bathroom confessional – Our dear friend Ian joined us at Rohini’s before the official start of Spring Weekend. It involved some drinking, a slightly constipated rohini, some homemade remedies, pictures, and a bathroom confessional that we’ve stored in the ian-rohini-yang lockbox.

– The Blue Hat – We showed up to Friday evening’s concert fashionably late, so fashionable that we missed the opening act. Did we let that stop us from making our way front and center? No. On the way there I found a navy blue cowboy hat on the ground. It had Rohini’s name all over it, and she returned the favor by wearing is all over Brown that night.

– MGMT – They rocked. Had we been wearing socks, they would have come off.

– PM bedtime – When you and your fellow single best friend are trying to get your party on with other friends on a college campus, the task becomes considerably more complicated when the people in question are sick from faulty pot brownies or doing x-rated things with their significant/not so significant others. As such, we had an early bedtime. A bedtime earlier than even our 1,2 and even 3a.m. weeknight video chats.

– Hipster sunglasses – Take a look at the 70 new pictures of Rohini on facebook. Just like the blue jacket made Friday, these sunglasses made Saturday. The best 5 dollars Rohini ever spent/bummed off a friend.

– Snoop Dogg – I flashed my smile and next thing we know, we’re dancing backstage, chilling in the green room with Snoop and his Popeye’s chicken (no joke), and get ourselves cordially invited to join d-o-double-g and his posse back at the Hilton. We graciously excused ourselves, for the better, but at one point, Rohini and I had a talk about how far we were willing to go. Our conversation went something like this:

yang: I don’t want to blow anyone.
rohini: me neither
yang: we can make out
rohini: ok, I’d make out with Snoop
yang: no, I meant with each other.

– Hazeltine – This young gentleman made quite the first impression. I thought this future avid reader of ours deserved a shout out. Stephen Hazeltine is a BFD.

– Dental emergency – I’ll let Rohini describe this one, but let me just say that after what happened I called every Rhode Island dentist listed in the yellow pages and can now add Emergency Dentist Assistant to my resume. And by can, I mean did.

– Blogosphere celebrities – I can’t tell you how elated I was each time Rohini introduced me as her best friend, only to find out that people already knew me from the blog ☺

– Oh and one last thing – I SAW ROHINI’S BOOBS!!! (several times)They were everything I hoped they would be and more. to read the backstory, click here.

Thank you, Brown.

hump day

in case you and Rohini are in the same motor-less, oar-less boat –

Main Entry: hump day
Part of Speech: n
Definition: the middle of the workweek, usu. Wednesday
Example: We’re on the other side of hump day, with the weekend in sight.
Etymology: 1965; seen as the hill to get over to the weekend

A Gchat conversation from 4/21/10 @ approx 9:12am

me: long week
i cant wait to be with you
Rohini: i know
same
such a long week
ughhh

me: seriously
at least it’s hump day
Rohini: is it?
how do you know?

me: ?
wednesday
?
Rohini: oh is every wednesday hump day?
me: yeah
Rohini: oh
i didn’t know that

me: its the middle day of the week
Rohini: lol
me: what the fuck?
rohini
Rohini: omg
wow
i totally never understood
what that meant

me: hahahahhahahah
you dumbass
what did youthink it was
Rohini: lol
me: like a special day?
Rohini: yeah
like a holiday

i think we’ve had this confusion before but i pretended like i understood
me: hahahahaha. i love you.
this is going on the blog

happy to see that ivy league education is paying off.

happy hump day to everyone!

happy birthday, rohini!

April 20th means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. If you’re me and not a neo-Nazi pothead, 4-20 is cause for serious celebration (not that celebrating Hitler’s birthday and a day dedicated to getting stoned aren’t legitimate cause for a party). On April 20th, 1988 my best friend was born with a full head of curly black hair and 11 toes. I was a 2 month old baby at the time, living in the land of koalas and kangaroos. Did little me know I had a soul mate waiting for me in America? Certainly not, but life has a way of pleasantly surprising you.

What shouldn’t come as a surprise is Rohini’s wisdom and intelligence. If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you already know Rohini has a way with words unmatched by anyone. She already wrote a post highlighting some of the more memorable/fuzzy moments of her life at 21, so the following is a collection of some of her wisdom and maturity on display. Originally meant to be a list of 21 of Rohini’s best quotes, I came short of my goal because I wanted to get this thing posted as close to midnight as I possibly could, and it was starting to get a little long. So instead here are 12 quotes to commemorate the last 21 ages of Rohini’s life.

1. Rohini kinda sorta has a thing for the help. Whether the man in question is a dorm security guard, a bartender, a Moroccan bus driver’s short assistant or the busboy in a large Vegas nightclub, Rohini doesn’t discriminate between the many different fields of the service industry. She once explained this phenomenon with this quote: “I prefer my men either well educated or not educated at all, no middle ground.”

2. “I not sleep enough. That’s bad.” I already told the story behind this quote in From China with Love. Do I still find it funny? Yes. It’s been close to 3 years since she’s said it and is it still listed under my facebook quotes? Definitely.

3. I once told Rohini that I prefer men that aren’t incredibly fit or ripped, because while they’re nice to look at, being with one would just make me feel insecure about my own less than stellar body. Rohini, the great best friend that she is, told me she saw where I was coming from, but explained that when she is faced with men with impressive physiques, she finds comfort in reminding herself that she’s definitely the smarter and more educated of the two. If a hot guy ever asked her to get a gym membership, and let’s face it no guy would ever cite a grievance with those curves, but pretending they might, she has her response all ready to go: “honey, if I’m going to the gym, you’re going to school.”

4. From a past blog post kid in a candy shop. “Diversity. We uphold it in the workplace, we affirm it in our universities and we cherish it in Baskin Robbins’ 31 flavors. So why not maintain a bit of diversity in the love life?” – Rohini, civil rights activist.

5. “If you’re going to drink enough to throw up, you should drink enough to black out, because then you won’t be appalled by the taste of alcohol and can drink again the next day.” – Rohini on the afternoon of January 1st, 2010, as we made preparations to go back downtown later that night, less than 12 hours after the most colossal mess I had ever witnessed in my life.

6. When I look through someone’s profile pictures I’m allowed to judge as harshly as I want because a person’s profile picture is them putting their best forward so if that’s not even good then how can I not think they’re ugly.” So true.

7. From a recent blog post demonstrating our crusade to ‘stop the crop’ – “Go to your profile picture and drag that crop box out. Show us and the world who your beautiful friends are.” If you still have an atrocious tastelessly cropped picture, what are you doing? Why haven’t you taken our advice? Get rid of your crop failure.

8. Most people have their go-to pick up lines. Rohini has her go-to rejection line. “This is the cut, and this is you. You didn’t make the cut.”

9. In the not too distant past, I shared with Rohini my newfound appreciation for the moving elevator makeout. Soon after a fun time riding down to *G, Rohini and I had a quick text conversation where I highly encouraged she give it a shot. A couple of minutes later, I reminded her that since she’ll be teaching in a school next year, her only chances for a pulley-system makeout were in a residential building or a hotel, and that much of the excitement of making out in an elevator is the ‘forbidden’ element of doing it between the hours of 9 to 5 at work. Without missing a beat, Rohini responded with “If it’s with a hotel employee, it’s forbidden.” Please refer to #1 on this list.

10. “No looking back.” Rohini’s motto when it comes to men. She has an almost perfect track record. Almost perfect. Rohini also has a lot of mottos, sayings and slogans when it comes to men.

11. The Rohini Diet Plan – “Eat before drinking so that when you drink it will soak up the booze, and then eat after for the very same reason.”

12. And finally, a classic Rohiniism – “People should see the good, the bad and the ugly.”

On that note, happy birthday to my beautiful best friend! You are amazing and I cannot wait to properly celebrate with you come Friday.

Much love & affection,

yang

forever young

In one day, potheads, neo-Nazis and I will all put our party hats on to celebrate a very special day. Yes folks, I am turning the big 22. Cue confetti falling to the tune of Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration.”

As I live out the last few days of 21, I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness. Saying goodbye to my year of “I can legally drink and rent a car” will not be easy. 21 has been good to me. I might even call it too good if I believed in such a thing as an excess of fun. To all those who have participated in the whirlwind shit show that was this past year, I hope you’ve enjoyed me being 21 as much as I have. It’s been an explosive year.

Before I move on to 22, I thought I’d share some Rohini highlights from the past year. There’s a strong possibility most of these involved alcohol.

Moroccan mint mojitos. Yes my first drink as a 21 year old was a mint mojito. No, the Moroccans don’t know how to mix their alcohol. Downside of drinking in an Islamic country. Luckily there was a shot of tequila waiting for me at the end of that drink.

Summer in the city. Who knew a Mike’s Hard Lemonade could make a day at the park that much sweeter? Playing cards in a petite enclosed park while sipping some spirits and avoiding the angry rants of a homeless man is possibly one of the sweetest ways to spend a summer day.

Summer days at Lodo’s. Ah how our love affair with an un-quaint bar in downtown Denver began. Good fucking times.

VEGAS. I can’t say this city’s name without letting out a sigh. Oh Vegas. The words “If you ain’t getting drunk get the fuck out the club” have never felt as true as they did here. VIP at all the clubs, drinking for free and dancing til 4 in the morn… Why did we ever leave? The one Sin City golden rule I did pick up: hydrate beforehand or you’ll end up dropping fifty dollars on bottled water at the bar.

Level 2. Sketchy Providence nightclubs may not seem like an ideal location for most, but when you’re inebriated and looking to get your dance on, Level 2 is just the place to do it. I dragged my drunk ass all over this dance floor, made nice with the townies and woke up with a disgustingly strong scent of cologne under my fingernails. Success.

Fire chief to the rescue. Did I dress up like a firefighter for Halloween and then waltz into the local fire station to pose in the fire truck? Yeah, that happened. Big thanks to my giggling roomies (Kat and Khara) for capturing that moment on more technologically advanced phones. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, my helmet said I was a fire chief. And I told that to the fire chief.

Thanksgiving at a bar. Unlike the rest of America, Yang and I had a Thanksgiving meal with our families then ditched them to head downtown and hit up our favorite bar, Lodo’s, with our friends Alex and Evan. On this eventful night I met the short-but-beautiful Hayden that Yang described in her blast from the past post and we spent the night dancing (and falling) all over the bar floor. Class act.

I-225 rest stop. Following a night of several shots of Jameson, my dearest Yang graciously pulled her car to the shoulder of the highway so that I could “make the spinning stop” all over a large bank of snow. Our friend Joe coincidentally also needed a rest stop; he got out of the car, stood next to me and relieved himself. Fast forward to three hours later… Rohini gets on a plane with mom, dad, and bro to leave for a family vacation.

Ginger. I think this one speaks for itself.

Karaoke and pizza. Singing Taylor Swift to a crowd of cheering people is, I believe, the standard definition of “partying like a rock star.” Post-karaoke, some rather incriminating pictures of me shoving a Jumbo slice pizza into my mouth may have been taken. If you have not seen these I recommend you go to Facebook and search for them immediately.

A Stately affair. While we originally headed to State Lounge for a birthday bash, upon finding a group of very well dressed, very foreign law students, my friend Sonika and I changed the game plan. Flaming bottles of champagne, cigarettes, lap dances, lost credit cards and grilled cheese. EPIC.

These moments have definitely made 21 one of the best years of my life, but I can only see things getting better (and messier?) from here. 22’s the new 21. That said, I’ll be kicking off my 22nd year with a rocking Spring Week(end). I hope you’ll be joining me. Let’s get shit poppin.

our first ever gchat conversation

Rohini and I didn’t start conversing over Gchat until November 2008, and another seven months would pass before our second conversation. Gchat is now a daily ritual of ours since I can’t get on iChat from work, and I don’t know what I would do without it. Here is our first conversation from 11.13.08 at about 7pm EST.

me: rohini!
Rohini: OMG!
yangster!

me: i’m almost never on gmail
Rohini: hahaha
me neither
actually

me: i’m on a short break in teh middle of my class
and i thought i would check it
Rohini: haha aww yay
me: and then i saw that you were on
i see you in less than 2 weeks!
Rohini: I KNOWWW!
I CAN’T WAIT

me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rohini: like seriously
me: we have to set up a time to see tafoya
7:02 PM Rohini: my next week is hell
me: and play monopoly with everyone
Rohini: oh yeah!
me: and go shopping
Rohini: we do !
omg
omg
i’m so excited

me: and watch movies
i know me too
Rohini: yeahhhh!
me: itll be great
Rohini: can you go for hsm3 agan?
with me?
lol

me: of course
OF COURSE
Rohini: haha good
omg
OMG
i can’t wait

——

In case you didn’t already know, hsm3 is none other than High School Musical 3.