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Archive for August, 2010

Deliverance

Shake Weight tracking status: Delivered

Ladies and gentlemen, a special day is upon us. After completing a week-long cross-country journey, my new Shake Weight was delivered at 10:35 this morning and is now waiting for me at home. Life and my flabby arms as I know them will never be the same.

If you’re asking yourself why would Yang, a sensible, level-headed young woman buy into this workout gimmick, especially one so closely resembling the act of giving an enthusiastic rub & tug? The answer is simple: I need all of the help I can get. Let’s face it, I have fallen far from the model of moderate fitness that I once was, and any shortcut or reasonably priced item that promises to give me ‘strong, sexy sculpted arms’ that i’ll be ‘proud to show off’ in ‘just 6 minutes!!!’ is something I have to try for myself.

Yes, I’ve had to deal with some mocking, most of which has come from Rohini. Yes, I am fully aware that I wouldn’t be in this position if i actually went to the gym and didn’t waste hundreds of dollars on a newly cancelled gym membership. But that was then, this is now. Now is about taking the metro instead of walking the 20 minutes to my apartment. Now is all about the Shake Weight.

Click this link to watch SNL’s parody.

I should add that I also ordered a pair of yellow & white FitFlops. They should be at my door in a few days.

Lalaland

(Our mutual hero’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame)

As some of you may already know, I recently returned from a 5 day trip to Los Angeles for the Asian American Journalists Association’s annual convention. Was sitting in panels all day my primary reason for going? Not quite, but the conference was a great excuse to see old friends and make new ones.

The few other times I’d been to L.A. I was on family vacations that included rental cars, parents paying for everything and visits to Disney Land and Universal Studios. This was my first trip as a visiting independent adult, and sadly, Mickey Mouse was nowhere on the agenda. I was never a big fan of the City of Angels, and my opinion remains unchanged. Perhaps it’s my east coast bias, but I’m not one to become starstruck and generally dislike smog, traffic and high sales taxes. I will say that L.A. has some out-of-this-world shopping malls and movie theatres going for it, and judging by how much time Rohini and I spend in each place, it’s quite possible we might even enjoy living there, but I’m in no rush to find out.

Here’s a quick look at my trip.

My first gay bar/club experience
Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 was a historic day in California, when a U.S. district judge struck down Prop. 8. To celebrate this piece of news, our dear friend Liz took me to the Abbey, supposed “Best Gay Bar in the World.” Pretty big claim, right? I’ve seen ‘world’s best’ hanging crookedly in the windows of way too many bagel and coffeeshops to buy that one right away. But when I saw the satellite trucks from local and national news outlets stationed outside, I decided the claim was probably a legitimate one. As we danced to great mashups of Lady Gaga and comeback kid Enrique Iglesias, I wondered why I never stepped foot into a predominantly gay establishment before. In a typical bar/club setting, straight men ‘dance’ by standing in place , putting their hands wherever they can as their female counterparts rub up against them. At the Abbey, males, females, and she-males alike danced without care or concept of personal space. It was great. Thank you, Liz for being the great friend, confidante and tour guide that you are. My first gay bar experience will not be my last. Next time I’ll make sure I don’t eat two dinners beforehand.

The Food
Rohini and I are perfectly content getting our fix of ‘mexican’ food from chipotle, but being that close to the border, I had as many tortillas and frijoles as I possibly could. This meant fish tacos at lunch and fresh tableside guacamole at dinner with my friend and former class/roommate Courtney in a nice restaurant by Rodeo Drive. The best meal of the entire trip was shared with Liz at Aroma Café, an all-organic eatery in Studio City. I had originally planned to get In n Out Burger for my last meal, but Liz did a good job of convincing me to try “one of Ryan Gosling’s favorite restaurants.” The meal was fantastic. Even their Heinz tomato ketchup was amazing. I had a smoothie, curly fries, blue velvet cake and an amazing wrap with the number one greenest lettuce I have ever seen. Less than 24 hour later, I found myself staring at a similarly colored number two in the ladies’ room at work. And yes, I appreciate the irony of calling myself a lady after divulging that piece of information.

The Convention
This was my second AAJA convention and it was drastically different from the first. Last year in Boston, I was still in school, not sure where I was going and desperate for some vague outline of a job waiting for me after graduation. I would have been immensely grateful for a local reporting gig that paid 30k a year in a town with population 100,000. This time, I was there as a lucky, gainfully employed recent graduate, happy to have my job with weekends and federal holidays off. A year ago, I wouldn’t have seen myself where I am now. The me now is very happy with the unexpected turn of events that brought me here. Suffices to say I swapped career fair time for fun with friends.

I don’t see myself returning to Los Angeles or California anytime soon, although I do miss my friends who now live there a great deal. I do know that the next time I head that far west, I’m taking Rohini with me. We can go to San Francisco, a California city that I love, and on our way home we’ll make a stop in Las Vegas for some roulette and a mesmerizing musical performance by Celine Dion.

my smartphone is sluttier than your smartphone

a dear friend and colleague brought this new york mag online article to my attention. take a look at this excerpt.

Irrefutable Evidence That an iPhone Will Get You Laid
“Based on aggregate data from 9,785 smartphone users, OkCupid calculated the average number of sexual partners for 30-year-olds by smartphone brand. And, no surprise, iPhone users come out on top. By age 30, male iPhone users have had ten sexual partners; female iPhone users, the most promiscuous of the lot, have had 12.3. Male BlackBerry users, on the other hand, have only had 8.1 partners, and female BlackBerry users 8.8. Android phone users are at the bottom of the pile, with 6.0 partners for men and 6.1 partners for women.”

i have an iphone and rohini recently acquired an android phone, finally catching up on 3 years of mobile phone technology. now, if you’re hoping for a comparison of what our own numbers are, you’re out of luck. i’d say your chances of finding that out are about as great as verizon’s chances of getting the iphone in 2011. multiple outlets, including the media company that employs yours truly, have speculated that at&t’s phone would become a little less exclusive in the new year. but if you ask me, i’d say it’s more likely to happen sometime between ‘distant future’ and ‘never.’

with that said, should i be proud that people with my phone have more ‘sexual partners’? i’m not sure.  could these numbers hide a more depressing story? are my fellow iphone users actually enjoying meaningful relationships with long-term lovers? or are they victims of repeated heartless hookups and one-night stands? is comparing other phones to the likes of the iphone 4 even fair? i don’t know. the facetime function lets sexual deviants take video/phone sex to a whole ‘nother level. these figures raise far more questions than they provide answers.

i do know this – my best friend is a champion and winner (in all areas other than phone ownership), and she doesn’t appreciate the label “bottom of the pile” no matter the context. now is her time to shine and singlehandedly change the average. either that or switch to at&t.

3-Duh

In all the hustle and bustle of moving to a new town, I realized yesterday that I haven’t been surfing the news websites that typically keep me up to date on what’s happening in the world. As an international relations major, the best friend of our future World News Tonight anchor and a citizen of the world, I was ashamed. So I opened up the NY Times app on my phone (yes, I have a phone with apps now!) and found this article:

Resistance Forms Against Hollywood’s 3-D Push

For those of you who like me find yourself a bit more crunched for time in your new adult body, let me summarize:
– There is a Hollywood movement against 3-D films and J.J. Abrams is one of the technology’s biggest critics
– 3-D movies are more expensive to film and have higher ticket costs (duh)
– There is uncertainty and a lot of discussion around whether the Marvel flick The Avengers should be shot in 3-D

Now I don’t usually get riled up about whether funky glasses make or break my movie watching. But if we’re talking about a superhero movie (the most sacred of all Hollywood films), then I want nothing short of the ultimate movie experience. So here is what I have to say…

To J.J. Abrams – I’ve booked you a trip on the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria because apparently you missed the message that the world is not flat. What’s so wrong with a not flat Sam Worthington feeling a little more within my reach?

To those uncertain, wavering directors – Don’t let your pride and disdain for James Cameron get in the way of creating a quality real life experience for your viewers. We know he’s a pompous ass, but hey that doesn’t mean he’s wrong (in fact there’s over $2 billion dollars and an Academy Award for Visual Effects that says he was probably right).

To the price-wary movie-goers – No one is shoving plastic frames into your hand and taking a twenty from your wallet. If you’re so concerned about the 3-D price take the frugal route and either watch the movie in 2-D or wait 3 months and spend $1 at Red Box (or wait 6 months and borrow the movie from me).

Finally, to the folks at Marvel – Make this movie without 3-D and you might have some Avengers of your own.

Now, I will be the first to say that not all films should be or need to be so lifelike. Though Yang and I are both die-hard Jo Bros fans, we could have done without “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience” and I’m pretty sure Step Up 3-D is the worst idea I’ve heard since Step Up 2: The Streets. I also had a somewhat tainted 3-D experience when I absent-mindedly wore my glasses to see Avatar and uncomfortably sat with two sets of frames pushed up against the bridge of my nose. Still, with some contact lenses and a few good action scenes, nothing could complete my movie experience better than the illusion of being able to touch and feel Hollywood’s finest. In fact, here are a few of our favorite movie scenes that Yang and I agree would benefit from a bit of 3-D technology:

– The infamous rolling ball scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark
– The magic carpet scene in Aladdin
– Any light saber scene from Star Wars
– The opening any dance number in West Side Story
– The boat scene in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
– The nude portrait scene in Titanic
– Christian Bale kicking ass as Batman in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
– The stampede death scene in the Lion King
– The Elephant Love Medley in Moulin Rouge
– A bullet dodging Keanu Reeves in the Matrix
– All of Free Willy

summertime

To begin with, I offer to all our readers a sincere the sincerest of apologies.  While the past month has been a shit storm in everything those words could possibly mean, what we’ve done to you, to the blog we built with our love is inexcusable.  We’re no better than the ass of a date who wined and dined you only to never call the next day.  We charmed you with our wit and good humor.  Your hearts were won when we so willingly shared the intimate details and photos of our friendship.  And then when you sat at your computer, refreshing your web browser and eagerly expecting the next in a long line of rohiniandyang shenanigans, all you heard from us was cyber silence.  Now I feel obliged to add rohiniandyang to that long list of “Things I Despise” right underneath “guys who don’t call the next day.”

Yang and I are confident we can make it off this list, mostly because, well, how long can you really despise yourself (and your best friend) for?  Still, it all starts with baby steps.  So here goes nothing.  A recap of each of our summers (aka why we’ve been so quiet the past weeks):

Rohini learns how to be a teacher.
– Rode the bus to the West Side of Chicago every morning at 6:55
– Taught a class of 22 6th graders (Read: MADHOUSE).
– Drank anything and everything that was caffeinated from Sunday to Thursday.
– Drank everything but Friday and Saturday.
– Crafted 50+ posters out of markers, chart paper and pure artistic talent
– Took on the alias/persona Ms. Murali
– Attached a clipboard to my right forearm
– Became a certified expert in fractions, inferences and light pollution (yes, I taught my students about this).
– Listened to daily updates about the Lebron James sitch. Can you spell tease?
– Sharpened pencils
– Learned to love that profession we call teaching

Hello, readers! Yang here. I chose to model my list after Rohini’s, but before I go any further let me say two things. First: Isn’t Rohini the greatest writer ever? and Second: I apologize for our lack of words these last weeks. This summer is the first summer we’ve ever spent apart and it’s taken some getting used to. Let’s hope this second half of summer will be more blog-worthy than the first.

Yang learns how to be a producer.
– Rode the metro to work instead of walking because this Colorado girl can’t handle the swamp climate. I have to be at work at 9. Meeting this deadline is complicated when I don’t wake up until 8:20 every morning.
– Taught 2 new hire production assistants and the many freelancers that come in and out of our doors the basics of the Bloomberg terminal
– Drank nothing but water and juice, same as ever
– Ate everything in sight 7 days a week
– Crafted whatever creative graphics I could think of to make things like financial regulation, the Volcker Rule, and fat kid statistics more interesting for television. It didn’t work.
– Took on some more responsibilities to be what they call a “team player”
– Attached about an additional 10 lbs to my frame when I let two months of gym membership go to waste by not working out and standing stationary on moving escalators
– Became a full time employee at Bloomberg after starting off as an intern then loyal contractor
– Listened to a reporter yell at me over the phone, all part of my full-timer initiation. Also had to listen to an excess of Lebron talk because I work in close proximity to Ohioans.
– Sharpened my answering-reporters-last-minute-phone-calls-with-changes-to-their-scripts-and-getting-it-done-and-on-live-tv-and-not-crapping-my-pants-and-remembering-to-breathe skills
– Learning to love working for this crazy new invention they call the “tele-vision”

Cheers to summer, new jobs and forgiveness. We promise to blog with more regularity.