long-distance relationship

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2012: the year of legit

it’s official. rohini and i took our small presence on the world wide web one step further and bought ourselves a real deal domain name. we’re finally legit and our best-friendship has been resealed for life. i imagine the emotions i’m feeling right now are akin to what brides feel when they set up their wedding websites. it’s a real shame best friend registries aren’t a thing. nevertheless, we’re lucky rohiniandyang.com wasn’t already taken. i’m told it’s a hugely popular name combination.*

in the spirit of the new year, and the oft ambitious resolutions that come with it, rohini and i came up with a list of other things we’d like to make legit this year. and we will. here it is:

our gym memberships
total cliché, i know, but it must be done. we pay for them, and we never go. it’s time we start hitting the elliptical with some regularity.  my new slogan is “12 pounds in 2012!” note the exclamation mark, it means i’m serious.

living together
most people our age move to be with their significant others, so it’s hard for people to understand why rohini would move to dc to be with me. our blog helps dispel some of that confusion. it’s time we put an end to our long-distance relationship and swap the 800-some miles standing between us for a reasonably-priced, thick, sound-proof wall.

careers
part of rohini’s moving here is also motivated by dc job opportunities in education reform. her time at TFA is nearing its end and i’m excited to see where her budding career will take her next. i’m also thinking of some professional moves of my own.

our status as bloggers
we don’t blog enough. we have our good streaks, but life and exhaustion keep getting in the way. living together should help.

las vegas for new year’s eve
rohini and i had a plan in the works to go to las vegas this past summer, but failed to get our act together. we now have our sights set on sin city for new year’s eve 2013. i can’t think of a better way to end what has the makings of being a great year and ringing in the next one.

and there you have it. it’s also worth noting that 2012 is the year of the dragon, a sign we both wear with pride. so if there’s ever gonna be a year to get things done, it’s this one.

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*total lie, but we hope it will be someday. rohini and i dream about future generations of indian and chinese girls being named after us and becoming best friends over their shared love of our blog. we dream big.

Things guys shouldn’t say…or do…or be

As the winter months approach and Love Actually becomes your DVD player’s best friend, you may feel compelled to find someone to share this Xmas with.  The winter cold, however, can trick even the most sensible women into falling for truly terrible lines.  While the possibility of a post-date cuddle may sound enticing, there are some arms you just shouldn’t wrap yourself in.

In what we are conservatively describing as our dating lives, we’ve experienced our share of highs and many more low-lives.  Having met a sizable group of “men you should walk away from” we feel it’s necessary to share some things you shouldn’t look for under the mistletoe this holiday season.

We may have put up with these lines, but you don’t have to.

“Wanna bet?”
“What are we betting?”
“A kiss.”

You may have heard those lines in a meltyourheart romcom but in real life the kiss wager is an emptyyourstomach mess. When I’m proving you wrong I want to be paid with cash money.  Vegas wasn’t built on saliva.

“I’ve never kissed an Asian/Indian before.”

And after that line, you won’t be checking off that box anytime soon. What are you? A census worker? Nothing kills romance quite like yellow fever. Get that checked out.

“I only date Jewish girls.”

Well, “I don’t date racist boys.”  But once in a jewish-blue moon, a dumb shiksa will rise to the challenge.

“Can I borrow a hair tie?”

Words that should never be uttered by a guy to a girl. We all know what an epic joke Steven Seagal is. Don’t follow in his footsteps.

“I just have to make a quick business call.”

If I can put aside my lesson plans/homework/serious journalistic work to make time for you, you can save your business call for business hours.  Unless you’re a pimp there is no reason for work calls post 10 p.m.

“I go to Northeastern.”
“Oh cool. In Boston?”
“No in…”

“…Sterling, Colorado.” Be aware of better known, nationally accredited 4-year universities with similar names to your alma mater. Just like Cornell College is not Cornell, Northeastern Junior College is not Northeastern.

“Good morning, beautiful”

While nice to hear once in a while, when repeatedly texted every morning for a month after a drunken night on a casino dance floor, the word desperate comes to mind… so does the old adage “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

“ :( “

Sad face emoticon?  I feel sad for you.

We hope you enjoyed Part 1 of what will surely be a multi-part series.

This blog post was brought to you thanks to the innovative google docs. Simulblogging! Why didn’t we utilize this sooner?

let me eat cake

if you have been on facebook and are friends with yang you have surely been witness to the website titled fortune goodies.  you may have also stumbled upon the website after Googling “adult asian films.”  either way i’m sure you are aware of yang’s second profession: baker.  if not, let me give you a sneak peek.

 original and coconut macaroons

red velvet cupcakes

mini baked donuts with chocolate ganache

cheesy cheez-its

thanks, yang.  thanks for buying a camera that would take pictures of your baked goods and make me salivate in front of my computer screen.*  oh and double thanks for the red velvet cupcakes.  they’re my favorite.  i’m sure you baked them for me…to look at.

perhaps you sense a tone of bitterness in my voice.  if not, let me spell it out for you.  i’m bitter.  as you scrolled past each of these images i’m sure that one thought crossed your mind…mmm, how can i get some?  well i have the same thought, only considering i AM the best friend of the fortune goodie maker you would think i would be fortunate enough to feast on the goods.  fate has dealt me no such fortune.  not one of these impeccably baked, decorated and photographed treats has made it past jpeg form for me.  to add to the misery, i myself am anything but talented in the kitchen.  my idea of baking is eating my roommate’s cookie dough and praying that i don’t get salmonella poisoning.  cruel, cruel world.

i know what you’re thinking.  does yang even know that you want her to bake for you?  well, i’m not one to be rude and obvious about it.  let’s take a look at some of my more subtle clues.

new game: how many m’s will rohini have to use in the word yum before yang gets a clue.

i know what your next thought might be.  yang’s pictures are popular.  a lot of people comment on them.  maybe she wasn’t paying attention to what you wrote.  true.  if only there were were a way to know when someone reads your facebook comments…

oh wait.  there is.  she knows i want her baked goods and she fucking likes it.*

i’ve had it.  a girl can only take so much and my frustration has reached its limit.  either yang bakes me a cake or i will try baking one for myself and burn my apartment down.

here’s my proposal.  i will be in d.c. next wednesday.  that is a full week’s notice to buy whatever flour, sugar and rainbow chip frosting it will take to bake me a cake as fast as she can.  can’t wait, pattycakes.  oh and in case you’re afraid yang might be baked out after making fucking cheez its…she’s not.

thank you, twitter.

friends, join me in my desperate plea.  my request is quite simple.  LET ME EAT (YOUR) CAKE.*

*that’s what s/he said

baby, you’re a firework

to kick off this weekend’s i’m-proud-to-be-an-american festivities, some friends(:-(minus rohini) and i enjoyed a fireworks show by lake anna in mineral, virginia. we too got bit by the patriotic bug (along with several other bugs), so we lit some fireworks of our own (pictured below).

invented in the 7th century by the Chinese (you’re welcome) to ward off evil spirits, fireworks have since become universally synonymous with celebration. we look forward to them at both western and eastern turns of the year, victorious ball games and my future wedding reception. even the nightly shows at the epcot center will never lose their luster. and of course, when we lean in for that first kiss, it’s ‘fireworks’ that we are looking for.

so what better way to celebrate america’s birthday than with this wonderful chinese invention?

the sound of each crackling firework is a shoutout to my heritage. rohini is hit with a similar feeling anytime she sees someone wearing a cashmere sweater.

let’s not forget a favorite rohiniandyang song that will surely be making the rounds on america’s radio stations this weekend.

in closing, i’d like to say that our hearts go out to drought-stricken americans in various parts of the country who will have to go without fireworks this year. but as katy perry shows us, fireworks are inside each and every one of us, although some chests may be more ignitable than others.

we hope everyone is having a happy fourth of july weekend. ours is happy because we are now but 10 days away from reuniting in dc.

3-Duh

In all the hustle and bustle of moving to a new town, I realized yesterday that I haven’t been surfing the news websites that typically keep me up to date on what’s happening in the world. As an international relations major, the best friend of our future World News Tonight anchor and a citizen of the world, I was ashamed. So I opened up the NY Times app on my phone (yes, I have a phone with apps now!) and found this article:

Resistance Forms Against Hollywood’s 3-D Push

For those of you who like me find yourself a bit more crunched for time in your new adult body, let me summarize:
– There is a Hollywood movement against 3-D films and J.J. Abrams is one of the technology’s biggest critics
– 3-D movies are more expensive to film and have higher ticket costs (duh)
– There is uncertainty and a lot of discussion around whether the Marvel flick The Avengers should be shot in 3-D

Now I don’t usually get riled up about whether funky glasses make or break my movie watching. But if we’re talking about a superhero movie (the most sacred of all Hollywood films), then I want nothing short of the ultimate movie experience. So here is what I have to say…

To J.J. Abrams – I’ve booked you a trip on the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria because apparently you missed the message that the world is not flat. What’s so wrong with a not flat Sam Worthington feeling a little more within my reach?

To those uncertain, wavering directors – Don’t let your pride and disdain for James Cameron get in the way of creating a quality real life experience for your viewers. We know he’s a pompous ass, but hey that doesn’t mean he’s wrong (in fact there’s over $2 billion dollars and an Academy Award for Visual Effects that says he was probably right).

To the price-wary movie-goers – No one is shoving plastic frames into your hand and taking a twenty from your wallet. If you’re so concerned about the 3-D price take the frugal route and either watch the movie in 2-D or wait 3 months and spend $1 at Red Box (or wait 6 months and borrow the movie from me).

Finally, to the folks at Marvel – Make this movie without 3-D and you might have some Avengers of your own.

Now, I will be the first to say that not all films should be or need to be so lifelike. Though Yang and I are both die-hard Jo Bros fans, we could have done without “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience” and I’m pretty sure Step Up 3-D is the worst idea I’ve heard since Step Up 2: The Streets. I also had a somewhat tainted 3-D experience when I absent-mindedly wore my glasses to see Avatar and uncomfortably sat with two sets of frames pushed up against the bridge of my nose. Still, with some contact lenses and a few good action scenes, nothing could complete my movie experience better than the illusion of being able to touch and feel Hollywood’s finest. In fact, here are a few of our favorite movie scenes that Yang and I agree would benefit from a bit of 3-D technology:

– The infamous rolling ball scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark
– The magic carpet scene in Aladdin
– Any light saber scene from Star Wars
– The opening any dance number in West Side Story
– The boat scene in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
– The nude portrait scene in Titanic
– Christian Bale kicking ass as Batman in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
– The stampede death scene in the Lion King
– The Elephant Love Medley in Moulin Rouge
– A bullet dodging Keanu Reeves in the Matrix
– All of Free Willy

you say goodbye, i say hello

dec 2005

a few days ago, rohini wrote quite the telling critique of the newest addition to my wallet (refer to goodbye kitty). in fact, the post was such a hit that a certain infrequent reader of ours personally called the author to sing her praises. now, as many of you already know, i am a huge proponent of a good laugh, and an even bigger fan of a great laugh at another person’s expense, but i have let this attack on my dear hello kitty go on for far too long. don’t be fooled by the adorable big bow and whiskers, because this kitty scratches.

all in all i would consider myself far removed from the typical “asian girl” stereotype for the following reasons including but not limited to: (1) you will never see me flash the peace sign in a photograph, (2) i do not limit my core group of friends to people who look like me, (3) i don’t have a weird haircut (not since the 7th grade), and (4) i haven’t been a straight A student since freshman year of high school, which was just about the same time i outgrew the A-cup bra (5). so i guess what i’m trying to say is, so what if i like love sanrio’s main gal hello kitty? she’s one of the few really asian things about me, that and the fact that i played both the piano and violin and my name is yang yang.

rohini got one thing right. i am not a bandwagon, fair-weather hello kitty fan. i knew the importance of having great stationary when other girls my age were still wetting their beds. perhaps it was my already great sense of personal style or my early mastery of penmanship that made me gravitate toward nice notebooks, but whatever it was, my love for hello kitty has been one for the storybooks and this blog.

we’ve been through a lot, my hello kitty and i. our relationship hasn’t been a cheap one, not when i spent three times the market price of regular pens and pencils all so i could see her cute beady eyes stare back at me as i did my multiplication tables. staying up to date with the latest creations from sanrio kept my hello kitty piggy bank perpetually empty, but such is the life of a young hello kitty connoisseur and i loved every moment of it.

yes, i was a hello kitty elitist. emphasis on was. but my once impressive multi-thousand dollar collection of gel pens, stickers, planners, and a boom box (haven’t used that term in years) are long gone. i grew up and learned to tolerate the lifeless black and blue pens used by my peers, choosing to waste my money on clothing instead of pens that i seemed to make a steady habit of losing. in fact, had it not been for the new debit card, i had a pretty solid several-year streak of owning no new hello kitty paraphernalia going for myself. rohini was well aware of this new lease on my life, which is why her most recent post came as such a surprise. how could anyone, especially my best friend, expect me to resist hello kitty’s face on a plastic card that fills my non-sanrio wallet with cash like magic? i mean, come on. we can’t let this count against me.

a few other facts to prove my healthy case of hello kitty mania:
– other than my debit card, i have no other hello kitty items in my apartment
– i lived in new york for 3.5 years and never once went to the sanrio store in times square
– i use regular black pens and a plain moleskine planner
– i have no intention of ordering the matching hello kitty checks

so now that i’ve explained myself and now that you can see that i’m not so bad after all, it is now time for me to retire for the night. i have to get to bed for an earlier than usual morning at work, but i am far from done. i told you this kitty has claws, and she does. the story of rohini’s own obsession, one far worse, and rooted in falsehood must be told. that exposé will have to wait until tomorrow. it’s a good one. stay tuned.

p.s. i hate cats, but that just goes to show how universally loved hello kitty really is.

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rohiniandyang – long distance relatioship

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