long-distance relationship

best friends makin' it work

Archive for movies

a series of unfortunate events

…followed by one very fortunate event: my return to rohiniandyang the blog.

here’s the deal:

recently, i’ve taken to cautiously glancing over my shoulders to make sure i’m not being followed by a group of dark and thundering clouds.  the glance is more a metaphorical glance really…my response to a very unfortunate, very bad stroke of luck that I’ve had recently.  i’d rather not go into the gory details of what exactly has happened, though the stories are pretty ridiculous (a.k.a. hilarious), so ask yang to tell you about them.  let’s just sum it up by saying something was shredded, something had to be replaced, some things were taken, some things were lost, something had to be changed, something had to be replaced again, something was canceled, some more things were lost and most of these things i’d really like to forget (or laugh about).  either way it’s not important how i got here, just that i am here.  again.  for good.

everyone has those comfort items they turn to when the going gets tough (and the tough can’t always get going).  well i’m going to list mine.  christina aguilera’s “i turn to you” is playing in the background.

1. beary – my aptly named stuffed bear from childhood is my number one cuddle buddy and greatest confidante (after yang of course).

2. the dark knight – though the film is dark and twisted, batman is my favorite superhero and this is my favorite movie.  it doesn’t hurt that yang and i share a love for christian bale.

3. rainbow chip frosting – everyone has their comfort food.  mine happens to be sugary, colorful and easy to scoop from the jar.  after 10 to 15 spoonfuls i usually feel like vomiting from sugar overdose, but until that point it’s pretty satisfying.

4. family – though phone calls home often result in more stress than anything, being home is probably one of the best feelings in the world.  home also means colorado which i’m sure you all know by now to be the best state in the union.  they didn’t call them purple mountain majesties for no reason.

5. writing – while i don’t consider myself the best writer in the world, i enjoy putting words together whether that be in a blog post, essay or persuasive email to a friend.

6. yang – who better to turn to that my #1 best friend and mate in this long distance relationship?  they say it takes a village to raise a child.  well it took a yang to raise me (and a set of parents who i love as well…happy father’s day, dad).  i don’t want to imagine where i’d be without her.

looking over this list in my current position, i feel like i have two options: sugar comatosing on my couch, spooning a stuffed bear and intently watching the dark knight, or writing about yang and our promance.  i choose rohiniandyang (though a dark knight movie date may come later this summer).  the blog is back in business.

3-Duh

In all the hustle and bustle of moving to a new town, I realized yesterday that I haven’t been surfing the news websites that typically keep me up to date on what’s happening in the world. As an international relations major, the best friend of our future World News Tonight anchor and a citizen of the world, I was ashamed. So I opened up the NY Times app on my phone (yes, I have a phone with apps now!) and found this article:

Resistance Forms Against Hollywood’s 3-D Push

For those of you who like me find yourself a bit more crunched for time in your new adult body, let me summarize:
– There is a Hollywood movement against 3-D films and J.J. Abrams is one of the technology’s biggest critics
– 3-D movies are more expensive to film and have higher ticket costs (duh)
– There is uncertainty and a lot of discussion around whether the Marvel flick The Avengers should be shot in 3-D

Now I don’t usually get riled up about whether funky glasses make or break my movie watching. But if we’re talking about a superhero movie (the most sacred of all Hollywood films), then I want nothing short of the ultimate movie experience. So here is what I have to say…

To J.J. Abrams – I’ve booked you a trip on the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria because apparently you missed the message that the world is not flat. What’s so wrong with a not flat Sam Worthington feeling a little more within my reach?

To those uncertain, wavering directors – Don’t let your pride and disdain for James Cameron get in the way of creating a quality real life experience for your viewers. We know he’s a pompous ass, but hey that doesn’t mean he’s wrong (in fact there’s over $2 billion dollars and an Academy Award for Visual Effects that says he was probably right).

To the price-wary movie-goers – No one is shoving plastic frames into your hand and taking a twenty from your wallet. If you’re so concerned about the 3-D price take the frugal route and either watch the movie in 2-D or wait 3 months and spend $1 at Red Box (or wait 6 months and borrow the movie from me).

Finally, to the folks at Marvel – Make this movie without 3-D and you might have some Avengers of your own.

Now, I will be the first to say that not all films should be or need to be so lifelike. Though Yang and I are both die-hard Jo Bros fans, we could have done without “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience” and I’m pretty sure Step Up 3-D is the worst idea I’ve heard since Step Up 2: The Streets. I also had a somewhat tainted 3-D experience when I absent-mindedly wore my glasses to see Avatar and uncomfortably sat with two sets of frames pushed up against the bridge of my nose. Still, with some contact lenses and a few good action scenes, nothing could complete my movie experience better than the illusion of being able to touch and feel Hollywood’s finest. In fact, here are a few of our favorite movie scenes that Yang and I agree would benefit from a bit of 3-D technology:

– The infamous rolling ball scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark
– The magic carpet scene in Aladdin
– Any light saber scene from Star Wars
– The opening any dance number in West Side Story
– The boat scene in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
– The nude portrait scene in Titanic
– Christian Bale kicking ass as Batman in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
– The stampede death scene in the Lion King
– The Elephant Love Medley in Moulin Rouge
– A bullet dodging Keanu Reeves in the Matrix
– All of Free Willy

karate kid

From a text message chain on June 13th at approx 11:30pm

Y: Karate kid is so so so good. You have to see it.

R: I can’t wait to see it might not be for a while though because they have like every minute mapped out for us. How was jaden? I love him.

Y: So so great. Such a great movie. Loved it. Love Jackie.

R: I’d like him to be my mentor

Y: Jackie chan deserves an Oscar for this movie. I mean that. You know how we felt after akeelah and the bee? I feel that way about this. What is it about us and movies about underprivileged black kids defeating the odds?

R: We can relate to them with our own life struggles. How many times did they tell us a Chinese and Indian girl can’t debate together? Our lives are a movie about underprivileged black kids beating the odds

Y: Well said, sir. Well said.

With that said, go see this movie!

closer

Yang recently asked me if we should go for the new Sex and the City movie with my mom and aunt over commencement weekend.  Even though she didn’t know of my mom’s deep seated hatred for Sarah Jessica Parker, the four of us going for this movie is possibly one of the worst ideas Yang has ever had.  Why?  Well, as per usual, there’s a story behind it.  Here it is…

Most 40 to 50 year old mothers share a love for three things: the Magic Bullet, the Oprah Winfrey show and movies starring Julia Roberts.  With my mother, this third love is particularly strong, so when the motion picture Closer came out in 2004 with Julia Robert’s name in the credits, she was sold; it was a movie release she simply couldn’t miss.

Now let’s paint a portrait of Rohini and Yang around this same time: young teenage girls infatuated with hot male celebrities (not a far cry different from rohiniandyang today).  Put a sexy actor on the screen and we’d be sure to buy tickets for that movie.  This type of movie going policy can lead to some unfortunate “why the fuck did we pay money for that” moments (a.k.a. when Yang and Rohini went to see Miami Vice).  Still, when in 2004 the motion picture Closer came out with both Jude Law and Clive Owen steaming up the screen, we were sold; it was a movie release we simply couldn’t miss.

One tiny glitch stood between us and all the Jude/Clive sexiness a girl could dream of.  Rated R.  For the juvenile delinquents out there, I’m sure this posed little problem to you in high school.  I’m sure the “Can I get two tickets for “Over the Hedge” so that I can sneak into my R-rated movie?” approach has gotten you through forbidden doors before.  16 year-old Yang and Rohini, however, had moral compasses that pointed due north and so we went about matters through more legal channels.  My mother loved Julia Roberts, Yang and I loved Jude Law; we would all go to see Closer together (and incidentally get a bit closer in the process).

Buckled into my family’s Toyota Sienna and on the way to the theater, Yang and I were bubbling with excitement.  Neither of us could have foreseen the disaster awaiting us on the other side of those theater doors.

For those of you who have never seen Closer, here’s the basic plot: two relationships (Jude Law & Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts & Clive Owen) get complicated when Jude meets Julia and they decide to cheat on their significant others.  The movie is full of relationship drama, cheating, sex (in the dialogue, not too much on the visual front) and a very colorful vocabulary.  About an hour into the movie, the three of us (Yang, myself and my mother, sitting in that order) watched Julia Roberts and Clive Owen deliver the following lines to one another on the screen.

Anna (Julia): We do everything that people who have sex do!
Larry (Clive): Do you enjoy sucking him off?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: You like his cock?
Anna: I love it!
Larry: You like him coming in your face?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: What does it taste like?
Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter!
Larry: That’s the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

I’m not quite sure what relationship you have with your mother and it’s quite possible that you and she have frequent conversations about “cock” and “sucking him off.” My mother and I, unfortunately (or fortunately) do not have such a relationship. Yang and my mom also lack such a connection. As we sat together, listening to Julia Roberts describe Jude Law’s sweet tasting ejaculate, I could feel my mother tensing up next to me and shaking her head disapprovingly. I shot Yang a look and we exchanged a cringing nod; this was one of the most awkward/traumatic movie experiences we had ever had/would ever have.

You would think after that scene my mom would have dragged our asses out of the theater and driven us home. Nope. We sat through the entire movie together including one particularly disturbing scene in which Clive Owen repeatedly asks Julia Roberts, “Did you come? Did he make you come?” As I think back on these life-altering hours, I wonder what exactly good ole mum was thinking. Perhaps she wanted us to learn a lesson about going for R-rated movies that weren’t meant for us, or maybe she was just an overly dedicated Julia Roberts fan who couldn’t leave a movie halfway through. Either way, since that fateful day I have never accompanied my mother to a rated R movie without first doing a thorough plot/dialogue investigation. Lesson learned.

Since we’re on the topic of awkward movie situations, here are a couple more funny episodes. Note that none have nearly the same caliber of awkwardness as the “Closer” incident.

Yang convinced her mother to take her for popular horror spoof Scary Movie. Sometime around the penis in the ear scene they both promptly left the theater and Yang to this day has never seen the end of that movie.

I watched the lengthy opening sex scene in Matrix Reloaded seated between my father and my male cousin (who was visiting from India for the summer and who Kannan and I had recently caught downloading porn on the family computer…another story in itself). Don’t know that I ever fully recovered from this one.

once upon a mattress

on a whim, a few days ago, i took my mattress off its bed frame and dragged it to the “living area” of my studio apartment. sleeping closer to the floor, windows and AC got me thinking about my favorite scene from the curious case of benjamin button, brad pitt and true love.

if you’ve seen benjamin button, surely you recall the mattress-on-the-floor scene. if you haven’t, believe me when i say that this scene is the most perfect depiction of love ever produced. dont just take my word for it, take a look for yourself.

as i replayed this montage in my mind as i often do, a thought other than ‘omg brad pitt is so hot’ came to me. why are friendships never portrayed this perfectly in movies or television?

tinsel town has a way of overselling & overdoing love. could it be because we’re all naturally romantic (some of us more hopeless and helpless than the rest)? or are we only this way because we’re a product of the entertainment industry? these questions, like the chicken or the egg question, are best left for philosophical minds better than my own to discuss at a different time and place. but since i do fancy myself a pretty well-respected friendship expert, let me just say that best friends never get the portrayal they deserve. life is complicated enough as it is. work, school, dating and family are all things that can be cause for headaches. your best friend should be the one no-cry-zone. why then does it seem like something or someone is always getting in the way of our favorite silver screen friendships?

to prove my point, let’s stop and take a look at some of the most notable buddies from movies & television.

– in pearl harbor, ben affleck & josh hartnett’s characters are best buds & fighter jet flying partners. you would think that with a bond like that, nothing could ever get in the way of their friendship, but a world war, mispronounced death & a love making session in an airplane hangar later, these two friends were sharing way more than they had bargained for. lesson to be learned: never bang your best friend’s girl or guy until you’ve seen their dead body with your own eyes. that first piece of advice is free. the next one will cost you.

my best friend’s wedding – classic romantic comedy, not a classic best friend movie. i think it’s safe to say i wont suddenly realize i have romantic feelings for rohini when she gets engaged. the same can’t be said if the situation is reversed.

thelma & louise – i haven’t actually seen this movie, but it came to mind when i tried to think of a female best friend flick. i did a quick scan of the imdb synopsis to find out that they’re best friends who kinda lost touch and decide to escape their mundane lives by embarking on a roadtrip. from the imdb synopsis – “Thelma wants to stop at a roadhouse and have a few drinks. Although Louise does not want to do this, she warily agrees, seeing as it is Thelma’s vacation, too.” sound familiar? next thing you know they kill a man for trying to rape one of them, and they’re fleeing the authorities. spoiler alert!!! their friendship survives… not exactly the most believable or likely of plots, but i’m sure it’s a riot to watch. i’d like to think that rohini and i could make it through just about anything, but even we would need a little more time to get over committing homicide. call us old-fashioned.

three’s company – sometimes it isn’t the storyline that gets in the way of the on-screen friendships, sometimes it’s as simple as cast members wanting more pay and bigger trailers. jack tripper, janet wood & chrissy snow were doing just fine in their shared san diego apartment, entertaining all of america (and now in syndication in multiple languages) with their weekly misadventures, but suzanne somers just had to make extravagant demands and leave the show to start her fitness equipment & home shopping empire. i hope your thighmaster keeps you warm at night, suzanne. i really do.

superbad – in this more contemporary comedy, seth (jonah hill) & evan (michael cera) are “co-dependent high school seniors forced to deal with separation anxiety” (this should also sound familiar). we’ve all seen this and we all know what happens. they both want to get laid, try to buy alcohol for a party, seth gets upset when he finds out evan is rooming with mclovin, they get mad at each other, both succeed in getting some, the end. i like to think that in “superbad 2” seth and evan will keep their long distance friendship alive with a hilarious blog.

i think i’ve done a decent job proving my point. la la land idealizes, romanticizes, and you might even say fictionalizes the idea of “true love”, all while downplaying the equally important best friendship. i hate to admit this, since i’m a huge romantic myself, but chances are you and i, dear reader, wont have the kind of blockbuster romance that rose & jack share aboard the titanic. but all is not lost, your heart will go on and life-altering platonic love is completely within reach. take rohini and me as living proof.

as for the object that started this stream of consciousness, my mattress is now back where it belongs, proudly atop its bed frame. reenacting the love-on-a-mattress scene barely works with a brad pitt stand-in. needless to say it most certainly doesn’t work when sleeping all by your lonesome.

goodnight, world wide web.

a super-size spring weekend

I never know what to expect when Rohini and I get together. All I can ever do is hope that I have enough cash, packed enough underwear and that my camera battery will last. With just a few hours to go in Providence, I can say yes on all 3 counts.

Here’s a quick recap.

– North by Northeast My trip started when I went aboard the 3:15 a.m. northeast regional train to Providence. I accidentally fell asleep in my bed earlier that night and miraculously woke up at 2:30 just in time to leave for Union Station. Close call. I had much less luck sleeping on the moving locomotive.

– Forever 21 – As we walked into our go-to broke girl retail establishment, Rohini and I realized that after this past Tuesday, neither of us is forever 21. I walked out with a tank top, Rohini emerged a winner with a brand new jacket, and we were each proud owners of new shades.

– Death at a Funeral – We were both really pumped for this movie. I had seen the British original, and had high hopes for the Black interpretation. Rohini and I love Black movies (Something New, Boyz in the Hood, Brown Sugar, Remember the Titans, and Driving Ms. Daisy); we can’t say the same for this one

– The Cheesecake Factory – For the first time ever, Rohini and I showed some restraint when ordering dinner. We made up for this by ordering ornate beverages that came in glasses that were too tall for our straws. I love irony.

– Bathroom confessional – Our dear friend Ian joined us at Rohini’s before the official start of Spring Weekend. It involved some drinking, a slightly constipated rohini, some homemade remedies, pictures, and a bathroom confessional that we’ve stored in the ian-rohini-yang lockbox.

– The Blue Hat – We showed up to Friday evening’s concert fashionably late, so fashionable that we missed the opening act. Did we let that stop us from making our way front and center? No. On the way there I found a navy blue cowboy hat on the ground. It had Rohini’s name all over it, and she returned the favor by wearing is all over Brown that night.

– MGMT – They rocked. Had we been wearing socks, they would have come off.

– PM bedtime – When you and your fellow single best friend are trying to get your party on with other friends on a college campus, the task becomes considerably more complicated when the people in question are sick from faulty pot brownies or doing x-rated things with their significant/not so significant others. As such, we had an early bedtime. A bedtime earlier than even our 1,2 and even 3a.m. weeknight video chats.

– Hipster sunglasses – Take a look at the 70 new pictures of Rohini on facebook. Just like the blue jacket made Friday, these sunglasses made Saturday. The best 5 dollars Rohini ever spent/bummed off a friend.

– Snoop Dogg – I flashed my smile and next thing we know, we’re dancing backstage, chilling in the green room with Snoop and his Popeye’s chicken (no joke), and get ourselves cordially invited to join d-o-double-g and his posse back at the Hilton. We graciously excused ourselves, for the better, but at one point, Rohini and I had a talk about how far we were willing to go. Our conversation went something like this:

yang: I don’t want to blow anyone.
rohini: me neither
yang: we can make out
rohini: ok, I’d make out with Snoop
yang: no, I meant with each other.

– Hazeltine – This young gentleman made quite the first impression. I thought this future avid reader of ours deserved a shout out. Stephen Hazeltine is a BFD.

– Dental emergency – I’ll let Rohini describe this one, but let me just say that after what happened I called every Rhode Island dentist listed in the yellow pages and can now add Emergency Dentist Assistant to my resume. And by can, I mean did.

– Blogosphere celebrities – I can’t tell you how elated I was each time Rohini introduced me as her best friend, only to find out that people already knew me from the blog ☺

– Oh and one last thing – I SAW ROHINI’S BOOBS!!! (several times)They were everything I hoped they would be and more. to read the backstory, click here.

Thank you, Brown.